Right now I am in the process of praying through my calling, asking God for discernment and direction, but I have come to a point of struggle.  Is there a line between being willing to follow and trust God no matter what and finding your calling?  If so, where is that line?

When I look at Abraham, I see a man who was willing to kill his only son, trusting that God would still fulfill his promise of making him into a great and powerful nation.  That sounds to me like being willing to fully trust God rather than being called to something.  I know he was called to fully trust God, but his calling wasn’t to actually kill his son.  When Abraham left his home for a place unknown that he would later receive as his inheritance, he went and settled like a stranger in the promised land.  He was called to go there, looking forward to a city built on foundations, designed by God.  Is the difference between calling and willingness found in a closed door and provision elsewhere?

All I know to do right now is continue to pray.  Pray that God shows me my next step and closes doors where I should not be headed.  I just wish it was easier.

Have you discerned your calling?
Was there a time when you had to be willing to do something else?
How did you finally know that you were living your calling?

Part 1.. The Night Before SKIN

If you read my last post, you know that my accountability group failed one of our men.  We didn’t keep up with him and let him fall away from the group resulting in him falling back into the sin of his old life.  I didn’t mention this before, but he was just baptized on Good Friday.  When you make a stand like that, Satan counter attacks with the strongest temptations he can muster up, and we weren’t there for him.

SKIN (my accountability group) meets weekly on Tuesday mornings.  Tomorrow we are going to get real about why/how we let our brother fall.  When it all gets boiled down, we were so focused on the petty issues that a couple guys have with each other that we missed what was going on in the lives of every other guy there.  Often times it felt like we were in middle school again talking about ‘who likes who’ and ‘he said she said’ crap.

It’s time to grow up.  I personally don’t understand why people hold on to petty issues and drag them out until they ruin relationships.  Some people act as if life is one big soap opera.  I hope that if I act like that someone will call me on it right away and I pray that I would have the wisdom to listen to them.  I don’t want to be a shallow Christian like the ones Paul wrote to in Corinth.

When you look at the writings of Paul, you find that he calls people out on their petty crap.  In 1 Corinthians 3.1-3, he says that they are too immature for any deep spiritual truth because of their jealousy and quarreling (they were still worldly, living their old lives).  In Colossians 3.5-17 and Ephesians 4.22-32, he writes about putting off your old self and forgiving others in love just as Christ forgave us.

When we are immature, we have blinders up to what is around us and our ears are blocked from hearing the truth that is being spoken to us.  We fall into (or never actually get out of) our old ways of life.  As a result I think we often act like the wicked, lazy servant in Matthew 25:18, burying the treasure we have been given.

What does a non-Christian think when they see “Christians” acting like children, fighting with each other?

Part 2.. In Reflection of This Morning

There is still a lot of work to be done in SKIN.  What was once petty issues has become full blown problems.  The following questions are a way to start to scraping away all the crap and get real again.

1. Have you been with a woman in any way this week that was inappropriate or in a way that could have looked to others like you were using poor judgment?
2. Have you been completely above reproach in all your financial dealings this week?
3. Have you exposed yourself to any explicit materials this week?
4. Have you spent daily time in prayer and in the Word this week?
5. Have you fulfilled the mandate of your calling this week?
6. Have you spent quality and quantity time with your family this week?
7. How did you do in your personal high-risk areas this week?
8. Do you have any un-confessed sin in your life?
9. Have you just lied to me?

Some of these questions may have sparked something in our brother’s mind as he was dealing with temptation.  It has to start with honesty though.  We are getting back to these questions as a group, answering with complete honesty, maturing in Spirit and in Truth.  If you are not asking yourself and those who you keep accountable these questions, I ask you why not?  By asking these questions, petty issues are caught before they become huge problems.  Put off your old self and forgive each other in love as Christ forgave you.  It’s tough to forgive when you are still living your old life.  It takes Christ’s love in you find the real meaning of forgiveness.

I have recently been posed with a decision regarding my vocational status.  I am comfortable in the position I am in, but not really satisfied.  I do not (and never really have) seen myself in this position long term and have therfore put myself under the radar when it has come to opportunities to advance in the same area I am working.  Having been in the position I am currently in for so long, I have put myself out of practice in the two vocations that I could see myself doing forever.  This does not mean I am not qualified for positions that might become available in those two vocations, but it does mean that there would be a period of time needed for me to get back up to speed.  I want to use my other talents, but I am afraid that the right people don’t see them because they are shadowed by the talents required for the current position I hold.

If a position were to open up in one of those vocations and I knew I could continue to provide for my family in that position, should I chase that lion and risk losing what I have right now if I fail?  What if I didn’t have to risk what I have right now?  It sounds like a no brainer, but there is still the fear of the lion.  What if I can’t handle the lion?  What if another lion chaser is more fit and catches the lion first?  How can I be prepared for that kind of failure?

I am looking at a lion from behind a tree right now.  Time to step out and chase it.

To understand the lion chasing, check out Mark Batterson’s book “In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day”

Do you ever stop?  I mean just stop.  Take a break in your routine, pause your plans for a moment, sit still and stop.  Time is money as the saying goes and if your time is wasted sitting still then your money is consumed by the lack of accomplishment.  Why is it so hard to stop in our culture?  There is nothing wrong with a strong work ethic and a structured life full of activity, but what do you really have in the end?

Sooner or later you will have to stop.  You with either do it on your own accord or you will reach a breaking point where your body shuts down.  You get burned out.  Even if you get joy from everything you do it can still happen.  Wouldn’t you rather put it in park for a moment, letting your mind rest and your spirit refuel?

My band just finished a rehearsal not long ago.  When we were done cleaning up, I stopped in the office to pick up some stuff I left there earlier.  Instead of the grab-and-go I had planned in my mind, I sat down at my desk and waited.  I wasn’t waiting for anything in particular, or anything at all really.  It’s just that I had hit the ground running in the morning and this was the first time I had stopped all day. It was refreshing.  I didn’t feel a need to accomplish anything.  I didn’t even feel a need to get home right away.  I just felt the need to stop and listen.

When looking through the life of Jesus, there are times when He made it a point to find solitude. Matthew 14:23 and Mark 1:35 are two places in particular where you see this and prayer was His focus in both instances.  Prayer is one of those things that I am not disciplined in doing consistently, right along with reading The Word, but I am learning that prayer is not about tossing my needs and desires at God.  Among other things, it is also about listening.  As I listened tonight, God spoke.  Not in an audible voice or twitter message.  He spoke by giving me comfort.  I know I am right where He wants me to be right now and I don’t have to wonder if I am in the right job or pursuing the right future.  He is with me.

If you’ve been struggling with something for a while or have been stuck in uncertainty, stop.  Just stop, be quiet, and listen.  You might hear that still, small voice…