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Calling vs Willingness

June 9, 2009 in Life, Theology with 2 Comments

Right now I am in the process of praying through my calling, asking God for discernment and direction, but I have come to a point of struggle.  Is there a line between being willing to follow and trust God no matter what and finding your calling?  If so, where is that line?

When I look at Abraham, I see a man who was willing to kill his only son, trusting that God would still fulfill his promise of making him into a great and powerful nation.  That sounds to me like being willing to fully trust God rather than being called to something.  I know he was called to fully trust God, but his calling wasn’t to actually kill his son.  When Abraham left his home for a place unknown that he would later receive as his inheritance, he went and settled like a stranger in the promised land.  He was called to go there, looking forward to a city built on foundations, designed by God.  Is the difference between calling and willingness found in a closed door and provision elsewhere?

All I know to do right now is continue to pray.  Pray that God shows me my next step and closes doors where I should not be headed.  I just wish it was easier.

Have you discerned your calling?
Was there a time when you had to be willing to do something else?
How did you finally know that you were living your calling?

Hockey Lessons

June 8, 2009 in Life with 1 Comment

After watching my beloved Penguins get hammered in game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals this year, I read a tweet from my pastor (along with a response from another leader) regarding generational differences and joining the strong points… @drjay_: “Detroit vs. Pens: young talent still vs. the ‘old’ guys who have been there and built a system that just flat works. Can we meld the two..?!” This got me thinking about what I can personally learn from that game:

1. The veterans know what they are doing – There is a reason my senior pastor has had such an impact on not only our church, but the entire region over the past 27 years.  The vets have been through nearly everything I could possibly face in ministry.  What can I learn from them?

2. Acting your age is not always a good thing – While it is good to show maturity as I grow, acting my age in certain situations can show a great lack of maturity.  When presented with a choice, it is better to think through the consequences rather than respond immediately based on emotions.  On a deeper note, it is better to truly seek out and be willing to hear and follow God’s calling then to base my decisions solely on what I want or think I need out of life.

3. Even I have something to offer – Although I am a “young player,” I am not without ideas and talent to offer the church.  Innovation often comes from the new guy that just got started.  While being mentored and trained along side of great leaders, there are times when I might have something to bring to the table that they haven’t caught onto yet.

4. Failure happens – Everyone fails from time to time.  It’s a matter of learning from that failure and charging forward with new knowledge and wisdom.  I heard a stat the other day that entrepreneurial millionaires on average have failed on average 7 times before creating/finding a successful model.  In the hockey playoffs, a team can fail 47% of the time and still win the cup.  What can I learn from my failures and what new opportunities is God presenting me?

Looking for a Change

June 4, 2009 in Life with 3 Comments

Have you ever felt like you were ready for a change?  Whether it be a change in vocation, change in status, or just a change in scenery, at some point I’m sure everyone looks for change.  I am trying to stay ready for change and thought I saw an opportunity recently.  For a while now I have had a desire to move out of my current role in the production department at my church to a student ministry or worship leading position.  There is an opening in the student ministry right now but it is not the right time for me to fill it.  Through meeting with the person who will provide direct leadership to whoever fills the opening I learned a lot about myself and came away with several ways to be ready for the next opportunity that comes up.  The following tasks are specifically helpful when looking for a vocational change, but are good practice for anyone who just wants to follow God’s will.

1 – Be diligent in my current position.  It is God’s will for me to be where I am right now.  Diligence is a matter of character and to be in a position of leadership in the church requires it.

2 – Work on my weaknesses.  I specifically need to work on my time management.  I am committed to accomplishing goals and tasks but my poor time management sometimes causes me to have to work through the night.

3 – Give my current employer good reason to give me the best recommendation.  Going along with diligence is going above and beyond in my current position.  More often than not the prospect with the best review from their current boss wins the open position.

4 – Pray with my wife about calling.  Over the past few years, I thought I knew my calling.  The fact is, I know some of my passions but calling goes beyond that.  Am I called to continue working at the church I have been at for 21 years or am I being called into ministry somewhere else?

5 – Be active in other areas of ministry to learn about my passions.  Many people don’t realize how much they enjoy children’s ministry until they do it.  I will be seizing opportunities to teach anywhere so that I can develop and hone those skills.

6 – Continue to grow spiritually and in accountability.  This should be for Christian, let alone those who are in ministry.  It becomes even more important in positions of leadership in the church.  If you think you can grow without accountability, you are likely to become stagnant.  If you are not being held accountable, are you really growing?

7 – Always be ready for opportunities in the future.  One thing for certain in the local church is that change can happen at any time with or without warning.  Out of these changes can come opportunities for vocational transition or advancement.  Change is similar to how I described failure in my last post in that it births great opportunities.

Some of these tasks are tougher than others.  The one that scares me the most is #4 because it means that I have to be willing to leave the place I’ve known as home for 21 years.  It’s like being willing to put my son on an alter.  I am willing, I just hope through prayer that it is not what I hear from Him.

Finding Accountability Again

June 1, 2009 in Life, Theology with 2 Comments

Part 1.. The Night Before SKIN

If you read my last post, you know that my accountability group failed one of our men.  We didn’t keep up with him and let him fall away from the group resulting in him falling back into the sin of his old life.  I didn’t mention this before, but he was just baptized on Good Friday.  When you make a stand like that, Satan counter attacks with the strongest temptations he can muster up, and we weren’t there for him.

SKIN (my accountability group) meets weekly on Tuesday mornings.  Tomorrow we are going to get real about why/how we let our brother fall.  When it all gets boiled down, we were so focused on the petty issues that a couple guys have with each other that we missed what was going on in the lives of every other guy there.  Often times it felt like we were in middle school again talking about ‘who likes who’ and ‘he said she said’ crap.

It’s time to grow up.  I personally don’t understand why people hold on to petty issues and drag them out until they ruin relationships.  Some people act as if life is one big soap opera.  I hope that if I act like that someone will call me on it right away and I pray that I would have the wisdom to listen to them.  I don’t want to be a shallow Christian like the ones Paul wrote to in Corinth.

When you look at the writings of Paul, you find that he calls people out on their petty crap.  In 1 Corinthians 3.1-3, he says that they are too immature for any deep spiritual truth because of their jealousy and quarreling (they were still worldly, living their old lives).  In Colossians 3.5-17 and Ephesians 4.22-32, he writes about putting off your old self and forgiving others in love just as Christ forgave us.

When we are immature, we have blinders up to what is around us and our ears are blocked from hearing the truth that is being spoken to us.  We fall into (or never actually get out of) our old ways of life.  As a result I think we often act like the wicked, lazy servant in Matthew 25:18, burying the treasure we have been given.

What does a non-Christian think when they see “Christians” acting like children, fighting with each other?

Part 2.. In Reflection of This Morning

There is still a lot of work to be done in SKIN.  What was once petty issues has become full blown problems.  The following questions are a way to start to scraping away all the crap and get real again.

1. Have you been with a woman in any way this week that was inappropriate or in a way that could have looked to others like you were using poor judgment?
2. Have you been completely above reproach in all your financial dealings this week?
3. Have you exposed yourself to any explicit materials this week?
4. Have you spent daily time in prayer and in the Word this week?
5. Have you fulfilled the mandate of your calling this week?
6. Have you spent quality and quantity time with your family this week?
7. How did you do in your personal high-risk areas this week?
8. Do you have any un-confessed sin in your life?
9. Have you just lied to me?

Some of these questions may have sparked something in our brother’s mind as he was dealing with temptation.  It has to start with honesty though.  We are getting back to these questions as a group, answering with complete honesty, maturing in Spirit and in Truth.  If you are not asking yourself and those who you keep accountable these questions, I ask you why not?  By asking these questions, petty issues are caught before they become huge problems.  Put off your old self and forgive each other in love as Christ forgave you.  It’s tough to forgive when you are still living your old life.  It takes Christ’s love in you find the real meaning of forgiveness.

Identity and Your Friends List

June 1, 2009 in Life, Technology with 1 Comment

facebookI think I’ve blogged enough about twitter for now (you can find those two posts here and here).  Now for something a little deeper.  That’s right, facebook.

How often do you say ok to friend requests based only on the fact that you have mutual friends?  If you have students at home or are leading them in some capacity, do you think they do the same thing.  Recently a member of my accountability group got into some legal trouble regarding identity on top of what he already turned himself in for and was convicted of.  Needless to say, we did not do a good job of keeping him accountable.  The questions above were posed to me after another guy from our group noticed how many common friends they had that are our students.  It is not my place to judge him, but I know that many of those students have never even met him.  It is quite possible that he and those studenst were just saying yes to all the friend requests that included mutual friends.  The friend counter is like a social status ranking system, so why not say yes to them all.

With facebook being a window into the lives of its users, it’s easy to see how things like identity theft can happen.  Most adults understand how handle themselves online with facebook and beyond.  I think it would be prudent to share that knowledge with the students in our realms of influence.  At the very least they should be encouraged to take a look at their “friends.”  I’m not saying that facebook is a dangerous place, it’s a fun way to stay connected with friend.  I just want to look out for my little brothers and sisters.

PS… please keep my friend and his family in your prayers as this next season will be particularly difficult for them.

Chasing Lions

May 29, 2009 in Life, Theology with 2 Comments

lion 2

I have recently been posed with a decision regarding my vocational status.  I am comfortable in the position I am in, but not really satisfied.  I do not (and never really have) seen myself in this position long term and have therfore put myself under the radar when it has come to opportunities to advance in the same area I am working.  Having been in the position I am currently in for so long, I have put myself out of practice in the two vocations that I could see myself doing forever.  This does not mean I am not qualified for positions that might become available in those two vocations, but it does mean that there would be a period of time needed for me to get back up to speed.  I want to use my other talents, but I am afraid that the right people don’t see them because they are shadowed by the talents required for the current position I hold.

If a position were to open up in one of those vocations and I knew I could continue to provide for my family in that position, should I chase that lion and risk losing what I have right now if I fail?  What if I didn’t have to risk what I have right now?  It sounds like a no brainer, but there is still the fear of the lion.  What if I can’t handle the lion?  What if another lion chaser is more fit and catches the lion first?  How can I be prepared for that kind of failure?

I am looking at a lion from behind a tree right now.  Time to step out and chase it.

To understand the lion chasing, check out Mark Batterson’s book “In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day”

Say No Often?

May 28, 2009 in Life with 0 Comments

Do you ever have one of those days that just does not seem to end?  I hope that none of you have to deal with the occasional 14-15 hour work day.  If you do, I feel for you.  It seems to happen to me about once a month or so and if you’re like me, it’s by your own choice rather than being required by your job.  Is it really necessary to push ourselves that hard?  Jusin Wise took Seth Godin’s blog about saying no a little further, but I wonder if that is what I really need to do.

I am comfortable with my job and what my talents afford me to do there, so does saying no to certain tasks provide me other opportunity?  In my experience I have been given less opportunity when I don’t step up.  My passion is music so I tend to jump at the opportunities to play when they arise.  Does saying no to my what I am passionate about really afford me other opportunities or does it just frustrate me.  I know I can say no to myself when it comes to working extra hours instead of just finishing a project the next day, but I have a tough time seeing other places/times when it is appropriate for me to say no.

How do you say no?  Seth mentioned that saying no can help you say yes to important opportunities, but what really got me was this:

The choice: You can dissipate your gift by making the people with the loudest requests temporarily happy, or you can change the world by saying ‘no’ often.

So my question is not only how do you say no, but how do you say no often?

Just Stop

May 22, 2009 in Life, Theology with 2 Comments

Do you ever stop?  I mean just stop.  Take a break in your routine, pause your plans for a moment, sit still and stop.  Time is money as the saying goes and if your time is wasted sitting still then your money is consumed by the lack of accomplishment.  Why is it so hard to stop in our culture?  There is nothing wrong with a strong work ethic and a structured life full of activity, but what do you really have in the end?

Sooner or later you will have to stop.  You with either do it on your own accord or you will reach a breaking point where your body shuts down.  You get burned out.  Even if you get joy from everything you do it can still happen.  Wouldn’t you rather put it in park for a moment, letting your mind rest and your spirit refuel?

My band just finished a rehearsal not long ago.  When we were done cleaning up, I stopped in the office to pick up some stuff I left there earlier.  Instead of the grab-and-go I had planned in my mind, I sat down at my desk and waited.  I wasn’t waiting for anything in particular, or anything at all really.  It’s just that I had hit the ground running in the morning and this was the first time I had stopped all day. It was refreshing.  I didn’t feel a need to accomplish anything.  I didn’t even feel a need to get home right away.  I just felt the need to stop and listen.

When looking through the life of Jesus, there are times when He made it a point to find solitude. Matthew 14:23 and Mark 1:35 are two places in particular where you see this and prayer was His focus in both instances.  Prayer is one of those things that I am not disciplined in doing consistently, right along with reading The Word, but I am learning that prayer is not about tossing my needs and desires at God.  Among other things, it is also about listening.  As I listened tonight, God spoke.  Not in an audible voice or twitter message.  He spoke by giving me comfort.  I know I am right where He wants me to be right now and I don’t have to wonder if I am in the right job or pursuing the right future.  He is with me.

If you’ve been struggling with something for a while or have been stuck in uncertainty, stop.  Just stop, be quiet, and listen.  You might hear that still, small voice…

Middle Child

May 20, 2009 in Life with 0 Comments

brothers

I realized today that the stages of life in ministry sometimes tend to resemble siblings.  When you are just learning how ministry works and finding your calling, you are like the youngest.  The older siblings want to help you grow and involve you everything so that you can experience the joy that comes from serving Christ.  Mistakes are seen more as teachable moments and success is rewarded with more opportunity.  Everyone is excited to see you succeed.

Those of you that have been in ministry for a long time are like the oldest brother, and for the most part you know your place.  The other siblings look to you for leadership and you tend to look out for the baby of the family the most.  Although you know that you are still learning, you are at a point of teaching and mentoring more.  You sometimes have to answer for the mistakes of your siblings, but even that becomes easy over time.

Then there’s the middle child.  You are in that middle ground where it is hard to find your identity.  You were once the baby being mentored by your big brother, but now you have younger siblings who have taken that attention.  Although you have been mentored in the past, it is still hard for you to mentor others because you are still in a state of immense growth.  While you still look up to your older brothers, sometimes you feel neglected due to their focus on the babies.  Without taking ownership of your own learning and growth, this can become a difficult time in ministry and I think many people choose to leave ministry during this season.  I feel like I have been in this season since early college and even more now that I have new “older brothers” and a lot of “younger siblings.”  Trying to find my place in ministry has proven difficult.  I am in a great position, but it is ultimately not where I want to be.  I know I have to be patient, but it’s tough to depend on God’s timing rather than my own.

Best Man

May 18, 2009 in Life with 0 Comments

There are two life events that get me thinking about how I live my life and interact with others.  Memorial services make me think about what I am doing to influence the world and realize that I don’t understand the mourning process (another post for another day).  Weddings get me thinking about who my closest friends are and which ones are lasting relationships.  Two of my close friends are getting married this weekend and these thoughts of lasting friendships have been on my mind as a result.  The bachelor party was great, but I realized that my friendships are for the most part surface level.  If my wife and I were getting married now rather than 5 years ago, it would be easy for me to pick the groomsmen but I have no idea who my best man would be.  On the other side of things, I’m not sure I have a friend that would consider me to be his best man either.  Am I “Best Man” material?

It’s always difficult to look at yourself when asking tough questions, and if you are like me you are probably overly critical when answering.  Just remember that introspective questions are not to point out failure, but to encourage work and improvement in specific areas…

How am I “there” for my closest friends?
How well do I  listen to their issues?
What is holding me back from spending time with friends?
How well do I handle the time I do have to growing a lasting friendship?
What makes me feel so disconnected?
Do I really care?
What is the purpose of the friendships I have?
How do I become “Best Man” material instead of another guy invited to the wedding?

I am not saying I want to be the Best Man in a wedding.  I’m not really a big fan of standing through the entire ceremony.  I do want the friendships that qualify me to that position though.  Do you?

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